My New Blog

So I started another blog..

My Avian Emprise

Please check it out. I know I don't have many followers (although I am not sure how to find more).

In any case, this new blog is about me and my new hobby: bird watching and feeding. The first entry pretty much explains it all. There will definitely be more to come. I am very excited about my new hobby :)

That's all! Hope every one is doing well!

Soon I will be posting a blog (here, of course) about our bathroom that we are re-doing! How exciting!

Actually, not. It's been rather stressful. But, that is home improvement I guess. We have had some issues along the way. Thankfully, my brother, Bret, and his friend, Justin, are coming to help! So far, Matt has put in a ceramic floor (which turned out beautifully!) and we were planning on getting our bathtub and tile re-glazed with epoxy. Well, that didn't really work out the way we wanted it to. There are too many issues with the existing tile work. Soooo.. now we are replacing it all. Good times, good times. Matt plans to have sledge hammer the cast iron tub we have (should be fun for him) and my brother and his pal are going to help us put in a new tub/walls. Photos to come!

Stay tuned!

Stuck

Some times I know I've really lucked out. I love my job. Meaning: I love what I do. I really can't imagine doing anything else.

Here in lies the problem..

If things at my work were not so darn political or dramatic, I would love that too. Now I realize that you'll have politics, you'll have drama where ever you go. For a while now I've been feeling like I am being led around. Like I getting smoke blown up my ass only to be severely disappointed. It's disheartening. Let's not speak specifics because they aren't important. It's just getting to be more than I thought I could deal with. I am not sure how to get past it.

Unfortunately, with my degree, there isn't much more I can do except for this. I wouldn't want to. I just want to do my job, be appreciated and get paid appropriately. What's the problem?! lol In the very least could I just be appreciated and not led in circles?

So now for the whole day I'm wondering to myself "What to do? What to do?". Becuase I am so in love with my career and can't imagine being truly happy doing some thing else, this poses a problem. I may have to do some real soul searching to find the answer. Grab a hold of yourself, Kristin, and figure it out. Buck up or shut up. Time to explore some options and get some work done. Break down what I love about my job and see if there is something out there that I can accomplish. Uck. Truly disheartening.

I know I talk about my little boy a lot, but I can't help it. The kid is so damn amazing I often times cannot even contemplate it. I am not sure, though, that I would be completely happy being a stay-at-home mom. Perhaps when the next one comes a long I may feel different. I do miss my little guy every time I am at work. Crazy, right?

That's all for now, I guess. Just some thoughts running through my head today. Fridays don't tend to be much fun. Very busy and by the end of it I wonder what had happened in the 12 hours I spent there. Blah.

Decisions, Decisions..

This is our recent family picture. Pretty typical really. My husband is an extreme goofball. If you bring up anything "squishy" (meaning anything remotely romantic), he gets even goofier.

Gavin really loves the camera. He just lights up whenever he sees it. Absolutely adorable. I realize this is more than likely how small children react to cameras, but it's even more adorable that my son does it. :) He has just been the light of my life since he came into this world. I couldn't be any luckier.


In my last blog, I talked about my pumping and how I planned to cut back and end soon. This past Monday my husband convinced me to liberate myself from the pump. It was a difficult decision to make, but I felt it was time. Gavin had just finished bottle that I was able to produce (which took all day). I had frozen milk available, but lately he had been acting as though he didn't appreciate the taste, so I decided I was going to throw it out (which I still have yet to do, but whatever). It was really, really hard for me to make this decision. I have built up a bit of a complex. I couldn't deliver Gavin the way I wanted, he didn't take well to nursing. Pumping gave me a sense of accomplishment. But.. the time has come. Just in the last few days, I have noticed how I have so much time to spend with Gavin. The only issue I had was engorgement, obviously, but the engorgement caused flu-like symptoms. Truly aweful.

Gavin does really well with the formula and I think one day he will appreciate his mom's happiness and freedom :) What a cutie!

That's going to be it for now. I will touch basis on this more later.

Love Always,

Gavin's Mommy

Reading Other Blogs Made Me Feel Bad

It's been a minute since I have written anything down, so I figured I would give it a go.

For a while I wasn't sure what to blog about. I felt like I would be over-sharing what ever I put on. To tell you the truth, I am not sure why. If I do, then I do. Whateva.

Let's start with a talk about my new video game (and technically only video game) EA Sports Active 2. I am really excited about it even though I have barely used it this week. That's besides the point. There are sensors I wear on both arms and one on my right leg. It has workout programs to follow and such. It's a pretty cool game, really. It had helped me on feeling motivated. Now, I knew I was going to be bad this week. Instead of using my time that I had designated for working out on Tuesday and Thursday, I decided to visit it a friend on one day, and work on the other. It is what is it. I have to start laying off of myself. The last workout I did, which I believe may have been either Monday or Wednesday literally kicked my butt. I am still recovering from that. A couple of days ago I noticed my knee really hurting too, so that is another reason I didn't jump hard core into working out this week. I am not sure what my deal is, but since Gavin's arrival I have been injured so easily. First there was my back, now my knee. Ugh! I just need to take everything slowly, but my mind is so motivated it's like "GO GO GO!"

I have been so frustrated with myself lately. Yesterday when I went to pump at work I realized I forgot half of it at home. I got so upset because I had to drive home and get it. UGH! THEN, today I had realized I left both pieces at home! I was so mad at myself. How long have I been pumping for crying out loud?! Gee, only every 3 or 4 hours for the last 7 months of my life! How could I possibly forget parts to my pump as frequently as I do?!

I have been pretty proud of the fact that even though Gavin didn't catch on well to nursing that he is still able to get breast milk. I never even imagined I would be pumping for as long as I have been, but I am glad I stuck with it. However, the time has come where it is officially driving my up the wall to do, so I am ready to wean myself. I have a lot of frozen milk, so that will last for a little while but after that I plan to move Gavin to formula. I am happy to have finally made that decision because it has definitely been a hard one for me.

The last few nights Gavin has been waking up randomly through the night. A couple of nights ago I had to go in and rock him :( He usually is able to put himself back to sleep, but he was just screaming so sadly.. it sounded like he had awoken from a scary, horrible dream. It seriously almost made me tear up, that is how sad it sounded. I realized today he was getting another tooth in, so that has to be it. I cannot believe my little man is has two teeth now. The next thing I know I am not going to be "Cool Mom" anymore and he'll be embarrassed to be around me. Okay, okay. I have a little while on that I guess. Still!

I am going to call it a night. I feel better now that I just took some time to write on here. Nice.

New Bloggage Time

Does anyone else kind of want to see 127 Hours? I kind of do. It's partly because it seems like an interesting story and partly because James Franco is delicious. Yum.

A man came by from Hanson's Windows to measure all of the windows. It only took like 7 minutes, but I found it kind of exciting. It is a large purchase like previously mentioned, so I should probably be excited about it. I mean, a lot of the windows in this house literally can not be opened because they've been caulked shut. The window salesman told us there were scheduling installations 6 to 8 weeks out, the measurement guy said 4 to 5 weeks. The sooner, the better. Due to the age of the windows and the house they will have to take special precautions because of assumed lead paint exposure, so I hope to have Gavin out of the house during installation.

Right now, the hubby and I are sitting on the couch watching the end half of The Biggest Loser. Usually I pay attention a bit more, but this season I haven't been consistent watching. Now I am a bit confused about who is coming back and why. I get that there are some "unknown" trainers, but really I ask: What's the point? And, why do you so sporadically bring them into the show? Better yet, why do I care? Bob and Jillian are awesome in their own right, why mess with that? I don't really like the fact that I am sitting here watching this and not doing a work out myself, but I did do something to my back and the last few days it has been really bothering me. Today it was feeling better but now that the day is coming to an end it is getting angry :(

I have realized that I do make quite a bit of excuses in my mind for things. "I won't work out today, I have a busy week ahead" or "I'll take a nap when Gavin does then I'll work out" (then I don't do either or Gavin doesn't take a nap). Or "Gavin is cranky today, so tomorrow I will do it". The point is is that work will always be unstable (I just need to start saying that out loud), Gavin will probably be more cranky than not (teething and all), and I will always be tired. I need to grasp onto my free time and use it wisely. There is always going to be something going on with Gavin in every stage of his life so I can't be using him as an excuse to not do certain things (mainly working out). I'm sure he would want his mommy to be happy and feel good about herself. I really do need to become better organized with life in general. I have taken a few steps to help with that. For instance I got myself a new day planner and am making a habit of looking at it frequently to keep myself in the know of events. (Of course that doesn't always work, because Matt had to remind me of the guy coming to measure for windows today.) I also got a calendar to put in our office for Matt to better help him with the days I am working (since I am picking up a bunch at work). I do feel like my efforts to quit procrastinating so much are actually working. I have to accept that I am forgetful by nature so I need to better prepare for that. I am trying to write myself little notes as reminders. In all honestly though, some times I forget to do that ;).

I will end on this note: Mmmm.. James Franco. Tasty.

This Old House

So this is our first house. I know I put this picture up on Facebook all ready, but it's the only one I have. I really should get to taking more pictures of the house. A lot of people have been asking about it. We are truly excited about our new journey in our very first house. Just yesterday we made our first, large purchase for the house; Windows. Eeeek. Very pricey. BUT, we are hoping that they will help cut back on our heating costs AND we were concerned with any lead-based paint that Gavin may be exposed to. Two very good reasons, but the purchase was (other than the house) the largest purchase we have made as a couple. It's just very intimidating and I will be happy when they are all in. The window salesman thought the current windows were from the 1930s or 40s. Old, right? That's what I'm saying!

Anyhoo, moving on to the reason of this blog.

This house makes me want to be Betty-Friggin'-Crocker. I'm not quite positive what that means, but I want to learn to garden, learn to bake, learn to food process. ????? If you know me or if you don't, it's not difficult to find out that I am NOT Betty Crocker in the slightest. I am quite clumsy when it comes to cooking or baking. I once set a pot of boiling water on fire. How does one accomplish something so awesome? Good question. I sit right now, a house a mess, writing this blog. Perhaps I should shut the lap top and go clean or something. All in due time! This blog will not take long.

The house is like a clean, fresh canvas. It is a bit larger than our last place, so what we had acquired over the last few years does not do much for filling space. Did I mention I want to learn interior design? Haha. I would, in the least, like this place to have style. We don't have much $$ to throw in to this (because as previous mentioned, we just signed our life in to paying for windows), so I would like to get crafty. So many things I would like to look in to! Where to start?!

Everyone keeps reminding me we will be here for many years to come and to take my time, but seriously... it's hard to do. It's hard to NOT get in over our heads, ya know? Matt has his own mental list of projects he would like to accomplish too. What's one of my firsts?? Head to the library, pay my fine (whoopsie) and check out "Gardening For Dummies" (if there is such a book). There is a garden in the back for growing veggies. But.. how to not kill them is what I really need to research. Again, where to start?! I am a train wreck when it comes to common knowledge. Perhaps gardening is common knowledge? Perhaps not.

Second order of business. Become crafty. I would think they have books at the library about certain crafty abilities.

In case you haven't realized, I am a book reader. At least when it comes to the things I want to know. I have read "What To Expect When You're Expecting" multiple times and I do refer to my "WTE: The First Year" on a regular basis. I would check out 4 or 5 pregnancy books at a time and when I got closer to my due date I would check out 4 or 5 "how to not do too much damage to your baby" books. So far, it's worked. ;)

Here are just a few other things that I would like to kick start:

1) Reading the Harry Potter series. Seriously, I love the movies so much. How can I be a true fan without reading any of the books?! I'd like to read them to Gavin.
2) Knitting. This is something I tried several years back with no success. I got frustrated and quit. I would like to knit my son a sweater, or in the very least a scarf.
3) Hemp. I would make necklaces, bracelets, etc. Finding beads I liked was frustrating, but in the last year or so I have been to a couple of shops that seem to have some better choices. I was also able to find some soft hemp that created a more even look. Jewelry making in general intrigues me. I would love to take some jewelry making classes, but that will have to be down the road.

One thing at a time, Kristin. I will have to try and remember that.

Oh, look! A cute picture of the cutest little boy in the world, Gavin Slee!! :D He likes his carrots.

That's all. What a fun way to end things, right?? Hehe.

This Year

This year I intend to do a lot of work on myself. There are many things I want to improve upon and with Gavin coming into my life, it only makes me want those things more. 2010 went by so fast, it seemed, that I almost felt like I was the passenger and not the driver. Does that make sense? Hopefully this year I can take some time to focus on myself and what I can do to make me better.

I know I have said this numerous times to numerous people, but I feel like I was in better shape when I was pregnant than I am now. One of the "resolutions" for 2011 was to get back in to shape. I am not necessarily trying to lose a bunch of weight. I am about 8 pounds from my pre-Gavin weight. Primarily I want to feel better. I know I need to start eating better too. My plan was to start working out on my days off (which have been few lately) and to attempt to eat better. Losing weight while breastfeeding is hard to do because I don't want to compromise my supply right now by cutting back on my calories or anything. Once I finally decide I am done pumping, then I will start talking about trying to get that extra 8 pounds off. I certainly don't feel like I look horrible, but girls.. you know. Things aren't where they used to be. Weight has shifted. I would like to lift a couple of areas back UP to where they once were, lol. So far, so good on this goal. I have been working out on my days off and for the most part eating better.

One of my goals for the new year was to stop procrastinating. It sounds like a popular one, perhaps, but I am just horrible. I put off EVERYTHING from doing the laundry, sending out birthday cards, getting gas. What ends up happening a lot of the time is I put it off so long that the work ends up not being done as well as I'd like or I don't end up doing it at all. So, what I need to do is just get off of my lazy butt and just do it. So far I think I am doing well. If you ask my husband he might think differently, lol, but I am pleased with my progress thus far.

Also, I am wanting to all in all make myself more efficient and reliable. I am so forgetful and there has to be ways I can improve on this. When I was younger, still living at my dad's house, I would put up little post-it notes of things I needed to do. Perhaps I could start doing that again. With Gavin in the picture, there are so many more things I have to remember now! I just cannot believe how much it takes to care for a little baby. (Might I add, the mostest perfectest baby of all flippin' time. You've seen him, right?) Right now on my refrigerator I have a list of Mommy's Things and Gavin's Things to help remind me of everything I need. Now this doesn't always work, because I do often feel rushed in the mornings.

I am kind of liking this blog thing, haha. I just realized that all of this information I am typing is probably super boring, but when I look back on it, it could really do some good. Typing all of this out gets my mind moving.

I think that with the idea of improvement on myself, I also need to learn to accept myself too. I am hard on myself a lot about the things I have and haven't done and at some point I just need to say "Kristin, you really have tried your hardest so try not give yourself such a hard time".
I guess I will give it a try and we will see how it goes :) Wish me luck.